Celebrities always have to be the centers of attention, don't they? Whether they're accidentally leaving their clothes at home before their rendezvous on Mulholland, or engaging in inappropriate PDAs with their neighbor's nephew's cat -- the world is fatally infected with their vapid day-to-day details.
But the Internet has given us, the staid citizens, the ability to take back some territory. Yes, we have our celebrity news sites, like TMZ and Perez Hilton, but for the most part the celebrities are you and me (well... mainly me). A video of Britney dancing -- or flailing -- is now likely to get no more hits than a video of some everyday YouTube crazy busting a dangerous, illegal, or psychotic move for an audience of strangers.
Celebrities can't handle this, and that's understandable: If we're starting to pay attention to each other, who will care when they do something deranged?
It isn't enough they've acquired space on our social networking spots, like MySpace , which has carved out the nauseating niche site, MySpace Celebrity. No. Celebrities need separate, individual spaces on the Internet where they can say, "This is mine, and you're here as a result of your undying devotion to me and my talent and/or instability."
What follows next, in order from least to most distasteful, is our 11-page report on the 10 Most Gratuitous Celebrity Social Networks. These sites are at their best and worst when the celebrities are intimately involved, and our report takes a look at various types at their most egregious. Whether on DavidHasselhoff.com, where "The Hoff" interacts regularly through an ever-disturbing global video series, or on ThisIs50.com, simply a social networking front to push 50 Cent's brand -- each site deserves its fair share of abuse... which we have no problem delivering.
So, here are our 10. Click on any of the links below to read our penetrating analysis of each site.
— Starring Kylie Minogue
Konnect with Kylie! (Or... her publicist.)
— Starring Ludacris
Your primo destination for loser-generated content.
— Starring M.C. Hammer (yes, we're serious)
Because loud pants sound better on the Tubes.
— Starring Candice Bergen & Other Celebrious Women of a Certain Age
Where the question of the day is always: "Is it hot in here or is it my ancient hormones?"
6) Kid Rock Community
— Starring Kid Rock
The people on Facebook just weren't angry enough for this group.
— Starring 50 Cent
Your digital destination for thick women and thugs!
— Starring Martha Stewart
A site whose central theme is always either floral or fraud.
— Starring Nick Lachey
After reality TV resulted in divorce, Lachey ran to the warm, inviting arms of two guys with a social media site.
2) Icon Madonna
— Starring Madonna
Where $45/year affords you the right to mingle with Madonna flacks in cyberspace.
— Starring David Hasselhoff
It doesn't get much more disturbing than Hasselhoff 2.0.
Number Ten: KylieKonnect... Starring Kylie Minogue