Top 10 Turkeys of 2009

On this day for giving thanks, we want to thank you for checking out Internet Evolution while the rest of your family fights over the last turkey leg, argues about what's on TV, or takes out their pent-up aggressions in a game of touch football.

Hm. Perhaps you should be thanking us.

Anyway, as you emerge from your tryptophan coma, check out our exclusive list of 2009's Top 10 Turkeys in the Internet industry. And be sure to share your thoughts and other contenders on the boards below!

Internet Evolution's Top 10 Turkeys for 2009

10. Apple's App Store: iLove your products and everything, Apple, but your dictatorship over this App Store has been obnoxious. iUnderstand it's your App Store, but no one is happy: not developers, not users, and not the government. Oh... and not Google... but -- heh -- that's OK.

9. Semantic Web: Come on... What is it?! Where is it?! We might have more luck waiting for the next coming of Big Foot.

8. Net neutrality: Another year of elusiveness for you, too, eh? Sure, the new FCC Chairman has been singing your praises, but betwixt those praises are more phrases that say "we're not exaaaaactly sure when this is going to happen." Better luck next year, kiddo.

7. Microsoft: Microsoft wins the Turkey award for poor name choices. Azure? Bing? Seriously? And beyond Azure being the worst product name ever, where was Microsoft 100 years ago when everyone else got wind of the Clouds? Odd they're so late, since it seems that's where their heads are. (Snicker.)

6. The mainstream media: Congratulations, guys. You've spent yet another year getting waaaaay too excited about the Internet. Was "News Spreads Fast on the Internet" the best story you could come up with when Michael Jackson died? Did The New York Times seriously need to report on Stephen Fry's Twitter meltdown? Sigh. Here's a Turkey.

5. Biz Stone: This guy wins a Turkey for being the most evasive person alive. After denying that Twitter is concerned about a business model, then saying it has plenty of revenue options; saying advertising isn't an option, then saying that it most certainly is; and saying that Twitter may charge for corporate accounts, but that it won't... Stone said this week that Twitter will totally make money in 2010. Maybe.

4. Web users: This goes out to those brilliant folk who Tweeted from jury duty and had their cases thrown out; and those who, in forgetting the Internet was a public forum (whooooops!), used it to bash a boss and -- in turn -- got fired during a recession. For you, good friends, a sarcastic golf clap. And a frozen Turkey to the forehead.

3. Facebook: We're giving Facebook the Turkey award for disabling users for over-communicating. For a site that mindlessly entreats people to post on each other's walls, it's conflicting that Facebook bans users for doing too much of it... particularly when refusing to define what "too much" is. Tsk. Tsk.

2. Internet addiction treatment centers: This Turkey goes to China for ever using electric shock therapy ($805/month) to treat Internet addiction. But it's only fair that China shares this award with the folks at reStart -- the United States' first center for Internet addiction, where, for $322/day (plus a smattering of other fees), you too can possibly be cured of your faux disorder!

1. Google's Project 10^100: After launching the world-saving project with a strict due date, and collecting over 150,000 philanthropic project ideas seeking funding, Google sat around for a year playing Boggle (we think), and postponing the project's end date. In the end, it offered the public 16 broad, made-up themes to vote on instead of publishing the actual submissions as promised. When will Google pick a project to fund? Sigh. We may be revisiting this on next year's Top Turkeys.

Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving!

— The Staff, Internet Evolution